SlushPile Hell: The Latest

Query sent to the agent known as "SlushPile Hell":
"How do you think it would be to live without emotions?"

SlushPile Hell's "witty" reply:
"You do know I’m a literary agent, right?"

Wow! I am impressed by that reply! You did a double duke! You are saying we should all know that literary agents have no emotions and you seem proud of it! You owned having no emotions and at the same time assigned that characteristic to all literary agents!

Oh, my! You empowered yourself! Most people would feel embarrassed to say they have no emotions, but you apparently are proud of it! You think you are so great you put yourself on some dopey pedestal. But, guess what? You're a horse's ass.

SPH jerk... your comebacks impress less than Charlie Sheen's show at Radio City Music Hall. You couldn't do 30 seconds at an open mic night and your whole shtik jumped the shark. Give it up already. Go throw out the roach motels.

on a Sunday afternoon

I went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to see what was the last day of the exhibit: Stieglitz, Steichen, Strand

Edward Steichen, The Flatiron, 1904




Alfred Stieglitz, The Terminal, 1892

at a club in 1976

Two Groups

One group sits and talks about the lives of others because they are boring people themselves with low self esteem.
The other group is the object of the haters' talk. They are kooky and interesting and wacky and incite much discussion.

Which group are you in?

"Baby, It's You"

Tonight I saw "Baby, It's You." It is TERRIFIC!

Cinema Treasures

Cinema Treasures

Miss Rheingold

I remember going to the deli on Dutch Broadway and stuffing that box with ballots for my favorite. There was also a great commercial showing the contestants jumping off a merry-go-round. It was on every night at 7 PM on channel 5.

Lustre-Creme Shampoo

I can still smell the delicious fresh fragrance.

Where did you go today?

Maira Kalman: Various Illuminations (of a Crazy World)








Maira Kalman Gallery

Who Do You Think You Are?

Ruby Lazarus, waiting to testify during the Grand Jury gambling investigation.


Photo by Frank Scherschel, Time Life Pictures: Getty Images

I always knew that Ruby Lazarus was my father's first cousin. My grandmother was the sister of Ruby's father.

Ruby Lazarus

more about Ruby Lazarus

The Educational Twilight Zone

EDUCATIONAL TWILIGHT ZONE # 1 DECEMBER 16, 2010

EDUCATIONAL TWILIGHT ZONE # 2 FEBRUARY 17, 2011

EDUCATIONAL TWILIGHT ZONE # 3 MARCH 24, 2011

The Principals!

Andrea Lewis

Jonathan Straughn

Jason Kovac #1

Jason Kovac #2

Iris Blige

Mary McDonald

Maria Penaherrera #1

Maria Penaherrera #2

Reginald Landeau Jr.


and still another one:

Ron Smolkin

today at Milk Gallery

Bob Willoughby, The Rat Pack at the Milk Gallery, NYC






I loved this exhibit. How great were the 60s and the days of the Rat Pack?
Listen to this! Fly Me to the Moon

an idea

Writers should hire ghostwriters to write their queries. Agents should consider it as a way of generating some excellent extra income. It could be a conflict of interest, but it might be OK as long as the query then is sent to other agencies. The agent who wrote the query would lose the deal, but s/he would receive queries written by other agents on behalf of other authors, so it balances out.

Look, in this economy is is an option to consider.
I would pay top dollar. Maybe others would as well. ™

Like this makes any sense?

SlushPile Hell's latest attempt at humor:

The query:
"Dear Agent: You don’t shy away from gross stuff. You don’t seem to be squeamish. Perhaps you’d find a historical novel about cannibals to be of interest."

Agent's comeback:
"Mom, you’ve already made it clear you don’t approve of my wife’s cooking. No need to be insulting."

Too bad it makes absolutely no sense.

If it was an historical novel, it would be funnier if this fool who is an agent said: "Mom, the day after grandpa disappeared and we all had dinner at grandma's, we did all think the stew had a funny after taste!!"

Fool, you have to tie in the "historical" reference and make it FUNNY!!!!!

Steve Gruberg

RIP

Two More for the Road

On the NYC Subway

Coming Soon!

PRISCILLA, QUEEN OF THE DESERT

BABY IT'S YOU

and these

and more photos from 1976

Thank-you, Freddie, for taking me, a total "Charlotte Vale," and with the magic of your outstanding photographic work, giving me the "full Ivana" and making me feel so beautiful.

1976, it was a very good year!

Hello

Hello Electric Boogaloo. What are you doing over here? Get back to EB and continue discussing me and my crazy toches! I demand full attention. The same goes for you, Breakfast Club! I do so appreciate my haters, er, fan clubs.

Today: Pompeii, The Exhibit

Pompeii, The Exhibit

A Review, NY Times

And what an incredible exhibit it is!

This was the only part of the exhibit where the taking of photos was allowed. Unfortunately, one bright light ruined the photo from no matter where I stood.



Before I entered the exhibit I saw a few great photo ops. This is Bowlmor Lanes, and behind that is Discovery and you can even see Sardis and a few theaters.



And this is the great Schubert Alley.

SlushPile Hell: The Latest

Now he gives us stale and stock humor!

The query: "My writing coach told me that my novel is not yet ready to send to agents and needs more work. Could you read the attached sample chapters and tell me if you think she’s right?"

SPH's comeback: "I’d love to, but I’m terribly busy right now hitting myself in the head with a hammer."

Wow! That's original. And so snarky! BRB. Calling "Last Comic Standing" to set this literary agent up with an audition.

By the way...

Where is that idiotic anonymous commenting weak minded Loser who is fixated and obsessed with my blogs? I will open comments to get the pathetic jerk to bite.

On this Road: Eureka Street

from "On the Road:"
As for me, I was scheduled to be a guest at the opera that afternoon, escorting Babe on my arm...
The opera was Fidelio. "What gloom!" cried the baritone, rising out of the dungeon under a groaning stone. I cried for it. That's how I see life too...
"Well, Sal, how did you like the production for this year?" asked Denver D. Doll proudly in the street outside. He was connected with the opera association.
"What gloom, what gloom," I said. "It's absolutely great."

And this is the Central City Opera, in Central City, Colorado, where Jack Kerouac saw Fidelio on that summer night in 1947.

The Benefits of Summer School

In June 1963, I received a grade of 58 on a Spanish Regents Exam. My mother was not happy that I failed the test and she insisted I go to summer school. In August 1963, I took the Spanish Regents Exam again. On the re-test, I received a 41. I did not benefit from summer school.

My street, a movie set... again!

Today, my block became the set for the TV show, 'Damages."

I stepped out of my building and saw the familiar movie trailers with the doors labeled the usual "Lucy" and "Desi."



The street was cluttered with equipment.



The extras milled around and talked to passersby as the crew set up the shot.



These extras patiently waited for "Action."



Finally, the cameras rolled and Glenn Close exited the building and pushed a child in a carriage down the street.



And as I exited the "set," I passed what was left on the Craft table.

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