One Night Remembered, Not Another Minute Lost

I was about 16...

In 1963 at Christmas time, my family went upstate in New York to a resort called the Concord Hotel which was located near Kiamesha Lake. On New Year’s Eve, I wore my new "party dress," a rich concoction of dark blue velvet and white satin, with a green sash and low-heeled shoes dyed to match that special shade of green. The teens were all assigned to tables to enjoy the night and to celebrate in a happy way. 

My table filled half up with some very pretty “Veronica” and “Sandra Dee” girls and some cute “Frankie Avalon” and “Fabian” boys. The table next to us was also only half full..... so the boys asked those pretty girls to move to the next table because I suppose they felt "the more, the merrier." They did not include or ask me and when I approached them they explained there were no other empty seats there. There was no room for one more. The boys snickered and one girl chuckled. I was so hurt. 

I was left alone at the table.... my meal came and I sat there all by myself eating a sad New Year’s Eve dinner. I did not finish it, and I began to leave the banquet hall in tears that totally flooded my eyes to the point that I could not even see.  The room turned to melting watercolors as I weaved in and out of all the joyous people sitting at all the other many tables. 

I told my mother, who was with my father at another part of the room, that I was leaving and she asked: “What’s wrong?” I think my face should have spoken volumes. 

I went back up to the room and turned on the TV. I watched “Not as a Stranger.” For the second time that night, I cried. I cried because the movie was sadder than my night. I always had the ability to get lost in a good tearjerker... especially when the protagonist "lives his life like a Greek tragedy."  

I think I recently crossed paths on social media with one of the “Frankie Avalon” guys from that New Year’s Eve table of so long ago, I am not kidding. I hate to sound delusional.... but I clearly remember one of those boy’s faces from so long ago and it sounds bizarre I know, but I am positive this new connection was him. I never forget a face. Never. 

We had some brief interactions and he asked to get together with me. I hesitated, offered up some excuses, made some foolish mistakes, and he walked away. 

I felt beyond sad. I need new friends. But, if something is meant to be, it happens. But sometimes things go south and fall quickly apart for a reason. Because if a guy hurts you once, life has a way of not giving him a chance to do a rerun… even 55 years later. 

As I am writing this, I realize something important. Life passes quickly. One day you are 16 and the next day you wake up and you are 71. Many years ago, I was sitting in Schrafft's on 6th Avenue enjoying a damn good burger and today I had lunch at Le Pain Quotidien and savored a roasted turkey and avocado tartine. It is one day this and the next day it is something else. 

The only thing that remained consistent on those two days is that I dined alone. And I sat alone at my table today the same way I sat alone on that New Year's Eve so long ago. 

But, there was one difference. Today I smiled, and I was happy... just being alone. 

The photo above was taken on that New Year's Eve night so long ago.