Sunday, April 26, 2009

"House of the Devil," a review

I go to the Tribeca Film Festival. I look forward to it every year. I have seen some films that were quite good. But, last night I saw one that was so bad I think it could replace "Plan 9 From Outer Space" as perhaps the worst film ever made. Yes, it was THAT bad.
It is sort of "When a Stranger Calls," (2006) meets "The Mephisto Waltz," (1971) with a sort of "Rosemary's Baby" (1968) shtik thrown in at the end. Good grief!
The scenes were so predictable they were good for some laughs. The babysitter's friend stops her car on a desolate road to smoke. She rolls down the window and of course, her lighter doesn't work. Then, from out of nowhere a "scary looking dude" quickly appears to light her cigarette. The stock "scary sound effect" is designed to make you jump out of your seat. Yawn.
Yes, it is THAT bad. It is so bad it is "camp."
The poor director, Ti West, seems clueless. He was there last night. "House of the Devil" was just not original. It seemed the product of a first year film student. He got lucky that his film made it to the prestigious TFF. So many talented filmmakers struggle for years and never get any chance.

By the way, the audience was so obnoxious and self-contratulatory... all hooting and hollering and applauding when their screen credits appeared. It brought 'being supportive" straight to the Twilight Zone.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

query me... yeah, right

I gave up on queries. It is asking somebody else with more power to help you in your endeavors. There are so many other options that allow a writer to share his work.
There's a guy in my neighborhood who plays his guitar on a street corner. Maybe it is because he never was signed by a record company. There is an artist who displays his paintings on the sidewalk. And there are singers who are fantastic and they sing on the subway train. And this dude I know self-published his poems. Many people might consider his work mediocre at best, but seeing his work in print helped him find his smile.
I admire their creativity. They are not querying another person and waiting for another person to give them permission to share parts of themselves.
Life is short. It may be a one-shot deal.

Monday, April 6, 2009

and I miss YOU scarecrow... most of all!

Hey! Where did Wing Chun, Glark, Sars, and Miss Alli go? I miss the vitriol. I am sure they do, too. That must be hard: to have so much power and then to be like cheeses who stand alone. What happened there? I think that would make such an interesting interview. Call me, guys. We can talk over lunch at Le Sing Vert. I would of course ask you to respond to my letter to NBC/Bravo. And then I would ask you this: So how much fun were all those bans?

caption time!
the year: 2030
place: a TWoP convention in downtown Pittsburgh

question: This is a question for one of the former moderators. Can you please tell us what it was like to ban so many people?

answer: During my best year, I seriously banned at least 40 people a day. We used to laugh like crazy over those bans. I mean... we knew everybody knew we did it for the power, but the fun was in never admitting it. We could actually with straight faces tell TPTB that members were violating the rules, the dos and dont's. But we knew we were being like Beavis and Butthead over there. It was our little inside joke and it was a secret to be protected at all costs. Honestly, those years were the best years of my life. Now, all I have to look forward to are these cons. You guys are the greatest.
I heard that outside at one of the tables that old hag Marjorie is trying to sell her stuff: her letter to NBC and her page with her warnings and notes. Seriously, how old is she now? Do you guys think she knew who was leaving those comments at her blog? Nah... TOPIC! Whoa.. sorry, I had a flashback.