So, there I was last night at The Comic Strip Live doing Gladys's show. I had just gone up and "killed." "Knocked it out of the park." "Brought my 'A' game." (How obnoxious is that? I copied the way other comics describe their sets). I just usually say: "I did good" or "I did bad."
Anyway, Gladys likes the comics to arrive early and remain till the very end of the show, regardless of the spot when we go up. I was sitting there after my set, and I feel this drip drip drip on my head and water dripping on my jeans or more specifically, my lap. I look up and see water is dripping from either the ceiling or an exposed pipe directly over my head. OCD freak-out time. My mind is racing. What the fuck is leaking what? My thoughts tell me it's an exit toilet pipe and feces or urine has leaked onto my hair.
I raced to the bar and found Tom-E, the bartender who actually for a time last year dated Lisa Lampanelli. He is the nicest guy. I told him a pipe or something just leaked some unknown liquid onto me. He tells me to tell the manager, JR, who is another great guy. JR usually sits by the bar and he tells me to show him the pipe in the comedy room that's leaking. (Now realize, the club has all the pipes under the ceiling exposed). So, we go back and I take a napkin and mop up some of the liquid which by this time, in my absence, had dripped onto my chair. The liquid is clear... a totally good sign. JR tells me it's water leaking from the roof. (It had been raining hard all day). I was still in OCD feak-out mode, so I told Gladys I was getting the hell out of there to go home and shower, wash my hair, and do a laundry. She thinks I am nuts anyway so she gets on stage and in her best Marjorie imitation says: "Marjorie is leaving. She is freaking out cause water dripped on her head." That gets a big laugh. I run out of there and cross the street to hail a cab. I look up at the building.
Now riddle me this: How in the hell can rain water be leaking from the roof onto me when on top of the club is a multi-floored apartment house? And I am so waiting for the signs of Legionnaire's Disease.