Tuesday, May 13, 2008

My 15 minutes reduced to 7.5

Cliff Notes version:
1. I write a letter to Bravo about TWoP and over weeks kick it up all the way to NBC's Jeff Zucker. I post my letter at a thread in a website and the huge commentary that it generates is amazing. "NBCUStaff" weighs in and tells me "Jeff Zucker doesn't give two shits!" I am chagrined!
2. No polite letter is ever forthcoming from NBC in response to the issue.
3. My letter-writing activity and the blog comments are picked up by two internet sites. They copy and paste the material and roast me and ridicule the activity. They cannot get over it.
I respond to the shock with self-effacing humor and a list of "most shocking moments":
a. The Godfather: film director wakes up in bed with a dead horse’s head
b. The Shining: Jack Torrance growls, “Heeeere’s Johnny”
c. Psycho: Marion Crane gets stabbed to death in the shower
d. The Exorcist: Regan turns her head 360 degrees
e. Marjorie sends a letter to Jeff Zucker about bannings.
4. I become an internet celeb du jour. My own "personal brand of crazy" develops a cult following and my internet comments are tracked and ridiculed; they even found a link to my old "Soapbox" blog which I long thought was flushed down some NJ toilet... My own blog has entries copied and pasted. I cry DMCA. They laugh louder. They copy harder.
5. I respond with tongue-in-cheek updates:
"A last laugh: O.J. Simpson, Robert Blake, Lizzie Borden, Marjorie. Guess who lost her case?"
6. The denouement is my BEST.JOKE.EVER:
To my fans: I wrote this strongly worded one-lined letter to Jeffrey Immelt when I received an invitation to rejoin TWoP:
“I don’t care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.”

(Look, how could I not get pissed when TWoP banned a guy for poor spelling. And he told them he was learning disabled! Man, that got me nuts!) And I was banned for not beginning a sentence with a capital letter, for cross-posting the same comment to two threads, and for not reading the 10 pages that came before (and had answered) my query. Wow, what egregious font felonies!
So, two sites couldn't get over my letter to NBC? I would read that letter wearing my birthday suit in Macy's window if it got Bravo to hear the voices. Topic? That TWoP can kiss my big fat ass!

What a yawn! On to the next cyber adventure.
I peeked into Radar, hmmmmmmmmm...

No comments: