Tuesday, August 5, 2008

A Little Piece of Imagination

bumped up, because it is the "fever dream" that keeps on giving... it is THAT GOOD!
So satsifyingly good, it shall be given center stage!
Here is my story for today, boys and girls. It is a piece of fiction, based on a scene that played out in my head. I might submit it as segment idea for "SNL." In the world of comedy, this is how the saga might have happened.

Jeff Harumph, NBC lawyer, receives my communications to NBC regarding my "banning" from TWoP. He storms into Don Meeny's office and he tells him the whole thing is ridiculous. He tells Don Meeny to lift the ban. Don marches into the room where Glirk, Wung, and Sirs are busy reading replies at the TWoP message boards and laughing while in a gleeful frantic frenzy banning members like mad. He shows them my letters and asks them to review the case. They say they will get back to him. A few days later, they have dug in their heels and refuse to change the mod's decision who banned me. They support the mod. Don goes back to Jeff Harumph and gives him the news. Jeff Harumph looks perplexed. He says: "Just put her back and let this end. Let it be over. It's so stupid. Who cares, what does it matter? She will just continue. Do we want this? Do we need it? It's so idiotic." Don goes back to the room where Glirk, Wung, and Sirs are found laughing, eating pizza, and carrying on over their antics. When he goes in, he catches them by surprise. He tells them that the heat is on. Put the crazy old lady back. They are angry. They say: "If you force our hand on this, we will quit." Don Meeny doesn't get it. He is perplexed. What's the big deal? He goes back to Jeff Harumph. He tells him the bans are what gives TWoP it's quirky appeal. Jeff Harumph cannot believe it. He goes in himself and tells the "big three" to put the insane teacher back. After all, she was a teacher right around the corner from 30 Rock and this falls under the umbrella of a good-neighbor policy. They adamantly refuse and they say if they are forced, they will leave. Quit. Say "adios." He leaves exasperated and tells Don himself to put me back. The big three then give Bravo notice they are resigning. A few days later, they pack up their stuff and head out for new horizons. They announce their departure, without fanfare, at the TWoP website. Jeff and Don go to Miss Addi and ask her to put me back. She won't do it. She remains loyal to the site's "strict rules" and two weeks later, the fourth "big cheese" joins her friends on the unemployment line. What a fiasco! TPTB decide I will not be allowed back. It will set bad precedent. Everybody loses. Morale of the story: "he who is stubborn is sometimes hoisted on his own petard." And the crazy old lady is, in the end, exactly where she started. She is a different kind of cheese. She is "the cheese who stands alone." I walk out on the empty stage and I deliver my line, in true Woody Allen style: "What's the big tsimmes? All they had to do was put me back."

Hey, it could have happened that way. It did in my imagination. I really have to stop empowering myself. It is so not healthy. "Sockpuppet" comments to be added later.


sockpuppet1 said...

That is so hysterical, I am plotzing over here.

sockpuppet2 said...

Oh shut up and get a life you psycho biatch!

the bride of chucky said...

sockpuppet2, you took the words right out of my mouth! you freak!